I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Houston, we have a blender
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
