Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
