420 ftw
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
