she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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