I just made out with a guy for $7.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
