He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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