bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
