Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
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I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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