What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
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I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
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Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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