Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My pussy is not your playground.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
