he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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