Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
