it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
