I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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