Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
