I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
