her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
