how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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