I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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