"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
