everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
