Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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