he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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