Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im holly from the hills drunk
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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