Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
