i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
