I'm drive I can fine osifer
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
