Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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