Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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