its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
