Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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