Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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