I feel great
I just peed on a car
The best revenge is premature balding
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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