This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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