3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
