I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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