I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
