I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
