Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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