You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
