i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
