I love black thongs
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
