And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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