Screwed.edu
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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