One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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