U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I deserve this hangover.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
