Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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