would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
