i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize