I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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