I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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