JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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