Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
