i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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