How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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