if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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