the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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