I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
